I'm Just Say'n: Disarming Jerks
I’M JUST SAY’N
CAROLYN MAGNER
Disarming Jerks
Don’t allow yourself to get pulled down to their level
to live in your head rent-free. Be Dear Carolyn, courteous, but don’t engage. Fires Do jerks know they are jerks? Or stop burning when the fuel is gone. do they actually think they are like Sorry about the beer you have to everyone else? We work with a guy buy! who treats everyone like dirt. He I’m just say’n. is mean as an old porch dog and as quick to strike as a river snake. I Dear Carolyn, believe that he knows how unpleasI was once quite the looker and ant he is to others and does it anywas very popular with the boys. I way. One of the guys disagrees and married a wonderful man, and we thinks he’s oblivious to his own had a long happy marriage until he unpleasant personality. recently passed What do you away. Now, I’m think? We have Visit Carolyn’s I’m Just in my late 60s a case of beer Say’n blog for daily love and still drivriding on your and relationship advice: ing a truck, answer. Also, if depressed at the you have time, thought of livhow do you ing the rest of deal with jerks? my life alone. Jake However, I have no idea how to Dear Jake, meet men. I’m In my experinot attractive ence, unpleasanymore and ant jerks do not feel like I don’t believe they have anything are jerks. They to offer. I’m tell themselves not asking for that they are advice, but if “direct” or you have any, I’ll take it. “plain spoken” or “someone who Carla tells it like it is.” I have always felt a sense of pity for angry self-righDear Carla, teous folks because they attack from I will try to help based on a few fear of not measuring up. I also clues in your letter. One, you had believe that your outer self reveals a long, “happy” marriage. That’s your inner self. Those jerks are not an accomplishment that is rarer particularly happy with themselves than you might think. So here you and compensate by pointing out are, in your late 60s and about to the flaws of those around them re-enter the dating world. Because, The more important question is Honey, that’s what you need to do. how to deal with jerks. If you are Forget about how you looked in forced to work with him, you must your youth and take a look around detach your personal feelings from the truckstop. Those 60 year-old your interactions. Don’t allow him
Carolyn Magner is not a professional therapist, shrink or even a very nice person. Her advice is meant to entertain you, not solve your terrible, desperate problems. E-mail Carolyn at cmagner@rrpub.com.
guys fueling their tanks don’t look anything like the young studs of your youth either. Take a deep breath and jump in feet first. Look at Internet dating sites that attract an older crowd. Put the word out to your friends, family and church members that you are interested in meeting someone. Be confident. Smile. Enjoy life. The rest will fall in place. I’m just say’n. Dear Carolyn, I’ve been seeing a cute trucker for about two months now. I’m headover-heels in love with him and am dying to tell him how I feel. But something is holding me back. Do you think it is okay for the girl to use the “L” word before the guy does? I’m pretty sure he loves me too, but he has not said it yet. One small thing I ought to mention though. His Facebook status is still set to “single.” He’s not on Facebook much, so I don’t think that’s a big deal. What do you think? Sherry Dear Sherry, Well, I am a big believer in listening to that tiny voice in your head that whispers, “think about it.” If more people listened to that little voice, there would be a lot less work for advice columnists, lawyers and tattoo removal services. My advice is to slow down and take it easy. There’s no rush. Love will reveal itself in its own time. If this is the real thing, it’s worth waiting for. Oh, and Honey? Keep an eye on his Facebook status. I’m just say’n.
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40 TRUCKERS NEWS SEPTEMBER 2010